Ep. 60: The hidden reality of split family assignments

00:00:04:

00:00:20: We are the People Mobility Alliance, linking mobility and people.

00:00:41: Nice to have you here.

00:00:42: Thank you for making this possible!

00:00:44: Could you briefly introduce yourself and your role in global mobility or international

00:01:01: HR?

00:01:10: for about twenty years now, a decade.

00:01:13: My husband was in the humanitarian sector and then a decade in foreign service.

00:01:17: so as well as specializing in it now for six years In terms of research and implementation I also have first-hand experience Of The family's point of view For someone who travels a lot goes through high risk environments And Goes on unaccompanied assignments.

00:01:33: As far as i know i'm the only person Who devotes their whole work to the positive and negative effects of unaccompanied relocations.

00:01:40: That's very interesting, so how long have you been working in the field of international assignments?

00:01:45: I

00:01:45: started researching and disseminating my findings in nineteen when we started our own split assignment.

00:01:52: When he went to Kabul And i stayed in Switzerland with our boys He was working for The Foreign Service.

00:01:57: then We're currently finishing a posting here In Kyrgyzstan And were about start another Split Family Assignment

00:02:06: Let's say a variety of different countries and maybe leads us to the next topic, defining the landscape.

00:02:12: In your experience Rota what percentage of international assignments involve employees going abroad without their families?

00:02:20: And you are in case that I suppose.

00:02:22: then yeah

00:02:22: Yes absolutely!

00:02:24: When i started looking into it because we were about make this decision... ...I realised its very common in certain sectors like humanitarian sector.

00:02:35: The percentage can be up to sixty percent of the staff.

00:02:38: We're not talking extended family, we are talking partner and children.

00:02:42: And most of these postings in that sector would be imposed for security reasons high-risk environments Then even for local staff.

00:02:50: I must add their immediate families may be another country.

00:02:54: The number that gets quoted mostly For those relocated without their partner is a figure around twenty per cent.

00:03:02: But those are older figures from KPMG or Carter's Surveys in two thousand eleven, two thousand twelve.

00:03:08: And this would be a mix of imposed and chosen anacompany postings.

00:03:12: So it is not very clear on that figure.

00:03:14: what was included?

00:03:16: There were no reliable measures nor any reliable figures so far...

00:03:20: No!

00:03:21: The thing is cross-sectional.

00:03:25: It has been humanitarian for the profit sector as well as non-profit sectors.

00:03:30: it looks at.

00:03:31: there's different types of employment.

00:03:33: There are rotational workers in oil and gas, a lot short term assignments questions about relocating abroad alone without one partner tend to drop off surveys.

00:03:43: so there is no consistency either.

00:03:46: I'd like these questions more systematically involved.

00:03:48: but if you look at short-term assignments we've got numbers for them.

00:03:52: they can last upto twelve months or even extended further.

00:03:57: We have more statistics on them and they're usually unaccompanied.

00:04:04: That's interesting, so like talking about the let say outdated figures if we can take that... Have you noticed any changes in this trend over the past five to ten years?

00:04:14: Maybe COVID played a crucial role or whatever?

00:04:18: Yes

00:04:18: definitely through my work with various organizations I see rising numbers of chosen split assignments across

00:04:26: sectors

00:04:27: mostly due to your career, so one partner does not want a move and the children's educational needs.

00:04:32: And in you're title it is very good title its The Hidden You know?

00:04:36: It something that isn't spoken about much but very much of reality for many families and short term assignments on the rise versus more than half of companies anticipate an increase in short-term assignments In twenty twenty three twenty four twenty twenty five going up.

00:04:53: So its rising as the years go by.

00:04:55: What also makes it difficult with numbers is that the vocabulary used can differ according to sector, so you're talking about unaccompanied postings non-family duty stations split family assignments geographical separation and that also adds to them The challenge.

00:05:10: but from my experience Numbers are high when I do webinars within twenty four hours.

00:05:16: we have high registration numbers And participants usually tell me like wow this is the first time That i've ever you know, being able to discuss this with anybody else.

00:05:27: Like it's kind of a sensible aspect.

00:05:29: yeah so... Yes

00:05:31: I have information and strategies

00:05:32: And maybe talking to peers.

00:05:34: Yeah

00:05:35: Talking to peers but also having information about it and realizing okay what i'm experiencing is common.

00:05:42: It's not something that specific for me.

00:05:46: So very interesting.

00:05:49: I would like to talk about the why and provide a better understanding of the why.

00:05:55: How do you distinguish between employer-imposed split assignments, non family duty stations versus employee choice separations?

00:06:05: When accompanied postings are clear cut no partner or child can accompany due the company.

00:06:14: basically they say no it's that person has to go alone.

00:06:18: short term assignments can also be clear cut.

00:06:20: so look at the person going in, the employee going in knows what they're choosing or posting.

00:06:27: but many families are also choosing to be geographically apart and the organisations don't necessarily know their employees going alone and that they're leaving a wife, husband and children.

00:06:39: Yeah

00:06:39: but what are the most common reasons employees choose?

00:06:43: or maybe they are required to go on split family assignments?

00:06:46: Well... To be honest it's not obvious.

00:06:48: normally you would naturally prefer going abroad with your beloved ones.

00:06:53: yeah But there is no reason behind

00:06:57: Yes!

00:06:57: And there were many reasons.

00:06:59: What I found was lot of people who chose this have multiple reasons And then they're told, you know and people around them are dismissive of this setup.

00:07:10: But if we've got legitimate reasons what do the left with?

00:07:14: That's why I'm doing it.

00:07:16: but for example financial there could be a lack jobs in their home area without that particular skill set.

00:07:22: It can be career prospects.

00:07:23: You have to go into specific location to get career development For example difficult context or Higher management position.

00:07:32: so you think okay, I'll do that for two years and then come back to my home location.

00:07:36: And the main reasons That their partners don't accompany them is either it's a security of posting but that one's clear cut or The partner doesn't want to move.

00:07:46: we're seeing higher dual careers both partners wanting to maintain their career paths.

00:07:52: It is harder to maintain your career path as a partner when you know when you're expatriate every day Number of years and then educational needs.

00:08:00: a child has special needs.

00:08:01: the child wants to finish their final year Of high school in one location.

00:08:07: And so the other partners is okay.

00:08:08: fine I'll go to my next post, and you stay here.

00:08:11: Okay.

00:08:11: So it's kind of well challenges yeah?

00:08:14: That that's very interesting aspect to be covered.

00:08:17: they hidden challenges maybe Yes are the most significant challenges You have observed among employees on split family assignments.

00:08:28: Another factor that can influence a decision could be co-parenting.

00:08:31: So, we've got to acknowledge there are different scenarios now and so the couple could be divorced or co-parenting.

00:08:40: That parent wants to stay in their country.

00:08:43: You have to decide what's going on with your children but you want career advancement.

00:08:47: There is an opportunity for them.

00:08:51: Figure an arrangement out with your core parent, but one of the biggest challenges are gonna be worries about Your family back home.

00:08:57: The guilt of not fulfilling either role correctly or the parent all With your employer constantly the demands a competing Constantly for your time.

00:09:06: and it's not a nine to five job where you even a nine-to ten job Where in the morning?

00:09:11: You come back in that evening you see your kids.

00:09:13: This is you're gone twenty four sevens from multiple days at a time And he can.

00:09:19: You could completely underestimate loneliness on the site, you can have mental health issues.

00:09:24: I think it's definitely hidden challenges for the employee that their organization doesn't always account for.

00:09:30: And what about some?

00:09:33: let us call them human challenges like a loneliness or old strain burnout?

00:09:41: Any ideas of that?

00:09:43: Well they just give up.

00:09:47: It can risk of lower productivity, deteriorating mental health.

00:09:51: Potentially early return as well.

00:09:53: so you're losing highly skilled staff because a lot of these positions are people who have got a lot experience high trained and if they arriving... And I've heard very top level management people completely underestimating the difficulty in being separated from loved ones.

00:10:14: And because not a lot is known about it and how to make success, they say okay well I'm going back or get an ultimatum from the family.

00:10:23: It's your work for me!

00:10:25: So its like a sort of demo class.

00:10:27: then yeah?

00:10:27: Of course... Can you share, of course maybe anonymized an example... ...of how these challenges have played out?

00:10:36: You just judge some aspects like coming home or resisting the stress.

00:10:43: But do we get examples with that?

00:10:46: Yes!

00:10:47: I've known high-flying couples and thought it would be easy to realize after a little time they were more complex than they thought.

00:10:53: It took them years to recover to come back, reconnect lost relationships and also find new positions.

00:11:01: if one of them decided to resign.

00:11:05: Another high-flying couple European commutes stopped after a while because it was holding the at home partner from their career development.

00:11:14: Yeah,

00:11:16: so that's a family system impact you are managing now.

00:11:22: What impact have you seen on the families left behind besides career aspects or frustration burnout?

00:11:30: So what is included then?

00:11:34: Few studies are Professor Hutchins, Yvonne McNulty on non-traditional expats and then so the split family assignments included in these groups of nontraditional expat.

00:11:47: And mostly it's career implications for their partner at home, marital strain.

00:11:51: I see my own research role overloads.

00:11:54: with a partner who is with children The risk to an employee going is complete loss or relationship.

00:12:02: they more and more get disconnected from their partner in children at home.

00:12:08: And as the years go by, that becomes more and less exacerbated.

00:12:15: There's no formal study on an exact point.

00:12:18: it presents itself for example The Marital Strain.

00:12:21: but my experience with conversations or interviews can be very early-on.

00:12:25: all of them start showing about a year after when exhaustion starts setting in and they realise this is something much bigger than what we expected.

00:12:37: But there's no longitudinal studies, but it can be a high personal cost for the employee who's going.

00:12:45: So how does marital strain typically present itself?

00:12:49: And at what point of assignment then?

00:12:52: As I was saying... There are no formal studies on that.

00:12:58: It can come very early on, or it could be a year later.

00:13:03: and then everything starts coming out.

00:13:05: And the employees start getting pressure from their family to change Jobs.

00:13:13: yeah, of course.

00:13:14: It's well it's not its not.

00:13:15: lean management?

00:13:16: Yeah Of course not.

00:13:17: and what about the long-term effects on parent child?

00:13:20: Relationships do you have any insights?

00:13:23: I've heard many stories of people who say for example their adult child telling Their partner who was gone You didn't raise me so you had nothing to tell me

00:13:36: like alienation.

00:13:38: Yes yes people who've been away on postings for many months and come back.

00:13:44: And then the child say, you know I don't want to listen to or they said my teenager doesn't listen to me anymore.

00:13:49: so that personal price of losing relationships

00:14:10: yeah?

00:14:12: lower performance or whatever.

00:14:16: I think one of the greatest ones is mental health challenges, we mentioned the perceived loneliness that then could be numbed.

00:14:24: all unhealthy coping mechanisms can lead to unhealthy coping mechanism and risk-of losing stuff.

00:14:34: You know, from ultimatums in the family risk of staff saying okay well I'm not gonna carry on.

00:14:40: I need a different position and sometimes this stuff will say no i am choosing work.

00:14:45: then they have personal loss but their going through huge transition that may take out lot of mental space.

00:14:55: I don't think it's constructive for the organisation to not be ticking these positions into account at setups

00:15:04: In this manner, what unhealthy coping mechanisms have you observed among employees?

00:15:10: Again

00:15:12: there's no specific studies on unaccompanied postings.

00:15:17: There is frequent business travel and the effect of excessive use of alcohol drugs promiscuity but many second-hand accounts needing more psychological support for potentially erratic behavior from these staff.

00:15:34: And it can impact the reputation of the organization, as well as recruitment which we'll talk about later right?

00:15:41: Yeah that's a very interesting point and maybe let us talk about the support system.

00:15:47: what specific support do you provide for employees on split family assignments?

00:15:52: so I can do line management briefings?

00:15:54: i think like if the line manager knows the policies within their organisation Then they can make sure that the employee benefits from that and knows about them.

00:16:06: This type of, again explaining this type of staff is not necessarily... We'll have specific challenges.

00:16:13: I do webinars for staff and their partners.

00:16:26: the potential issues, and then these conversations have often led to them.

00:16:46: The person choosing the posting.

00:16:48: I do pre departure preparation i Do ongoing one-on-one sport?

00:16:51: And there can be an organizational access To the resource center that i'm developing which should Be ready in a few weeks

00:16:57: i see.

00:16:58: and how do you support the families remaining at home?

00:17:01: so

00:17:01: the framework i've developed it gives Them a structure to customize or again i will use That framework to help them focus their strategies.

00:17:10: I give them ongoing one-on-one support.

00:17:12: they can have individual access to the resource centre, i have a podcast with many interviews of people living it and professionals as well therapists and counsellors family counsellor's.

00:17:24: everything is through the angle of parental absence from home or long distance relationships And i continue to research.

00:17:32: Okay good point like yeah as we do, so to say.

00:17:36: So let us talk about maybe innovation and improvement?

00:17:42: And having the future vision in mind increasing or improving processes.

00:17:47: what would an ideal support system for split family assignments look like?

00:17:52: I think the organization being aware of having a logistical support flexibility packages financially supporting their families on site onsite visits when possible, sorry I missed that one up.

00:18:03: But encouraging on-sites visit when possible and allowing for more trips home maybe having a family contact person so the family can easily contact with their partners gone but at least they have another way in showing interest to partner or family well being may be dedicated page of website resources raising awareness with supervisors, and they can also maybe be like a concierge service or something that can help families because essentially all you know the employees far in and The organization could show this their commitment.

00:18:37: And in exchange have had the engagement on the commitment of the employee.

00:18:42: Because it's often an employee engagement and commitment is is also dependent on organizational Commitment as they see the organization committed to them.

00:18:51: That's

00:18:52: good point.

00:18:53: Yeah, coming to the organizations.

00:18:54: How can organizations better prepare both employees and families behind you?

00:19:00: Of course, Jan maybe for these assignments then...

00:19:04: Yes left-behind is a term that's used sometimes

00:19:06: in the... Left-behIND in the sense exactly!

00:19:08: I have to be careful when... With

00:19:10: some spouses i was like That's an awful term..I do not want to use orphaned spouses but think they're keys.

00:19:16: The key is decision making conversations because the veto of their partner Can have an effect on whether the employee chooses to posting or not offering pre-departure conversations that can have a huge impact on their successful assignment.

00:19:31: And I think one of the ones is which we haven't spoken about yet, it's kept at the postings too fixed term postings.

00:19:36: so yeah two years max and really help for recruitment.

00:19:41: as the employer goes okay its gonna be free year.

00:19:44: let's do it and the partner goes yeah okay well one year seems feasible.

00:19:48: Okay

00:19:48: like that time span, what is your message to organisations currently don't differentiate between traditional expert assignments or split family assignments?

00:20:00: I would say start tracking recruitment for imposed positions if you're not doing already And start talking about unaccompanied positions and see what the reaction is of your employees, then you'll probably find that there are more employees than new living this model.

00:20:18: Some employees may think it's part of a private sphere but most employers will welcome information on strategies about living in an increase employee image towards your employees and increased staff well-being.

00:20:29: I see very good point.

00:20:31: so Yeah, coming to our final thoughts.

00:20:34: Is there anything important about split family assignments that you haven't covered today?

00:20:39: I

00:20:40: think one of the aspects we haven't spoken about is enrichment from a split family assignment.

00:20:47: There can be an enrichment from it.

00:20:49: That's why people choose it.

00:20:50: If its done well and supported properly You could have repeat applications Personally, it can be enriching for the staff member in their development career development.

00:21:02: For the whole family.

00:21:04: It could be more intentional.

00:21:05: so done well and well supported I think you can really have a lot of enrichment And that's something i wanted to highlight.

00:21:11: very good point

00:21:12: also The selection process is not a lot on Selection process?

00:21:16: I think there needs To Be A bit More Thought & Research On That.

00:21:19: Okay.

00:21:20: So still Still Still a Lot to be Done.

00:21:23: So

00:21:25: where

00:21:25: can your listeners connect with you if they want to continue this interesting conversation?

00:21:31: Well, I'm online.

00:21:32: I'm at rodabangator.com.

00:21:34: You can sign up for my newsletter And you can also connect with me on LinkedIn.

00:21:38: I'm always happy to connect and work with you if your part of an organization see just support yourself.

00:21:45: Thank You very much, Rhoda.

00:21:47: Very inspiring!

00:21:48: Very interesting... ...and thank YOU for listening to the Global People Mobility Podcast.

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00:21:57: See you next time Take

00:22:11: care.