Ep.62: Why Relocation Fails Without Spouse Support

00:00:04: We are the People Mobility Alliance, linking mobility and

00:00:13: people.

00:00:20: Welcome to The Global People Mobilities Podcast by the People mobility alliance where we explore the latest trends in global mobility, people management mindset and leadership.

00:00:29: I'm your host Stefan Rehmhoff And our guest today is Norman Walgers.

00:00:33: Join us as we discuss a topic of global mobility unpacked supporting expert families abroad.

00:00:39: Well Norman glad you have here So, maybe you can introduce yourself.

00:00:45: Who's Norman and what is your precision?

00:00:49: Hi Stefan!

00:00:50: Thank you for the invite... ...and for the opportunity to discuss this very important topic.

00:00:55: Well my name is Norman Vargas.

00:00:57: I am the Experience and Development Manager at Premier DS Premier Destination Services.

00:01:03: We are an Immigration and Destination services company offering services in thirty six countries, more than a hundred and ten cities in the Latin America region.

00:01:13: And some parts of the United States.

00:01:16: I am from Costa Rica.

00:01:18: I am currently living in Panama City, have been living here for ten months.

00:01:22: The next one myself.

00:01:23: so i think that this is a great opportunity to share some inside information and some personal experiences that I've had through my several moves.

00:01:34: actually This Is My Fourth Relocation Move!

00:01:37: I'd Been In The Industry For About Twenty-Five Years And So...I Think That Gives Me A Lot Of Experience It Has Provided me With A Lot of Experience and in learnings throughout the years.

00:01:50: Very interesting, Norman!

00:01:51: So yeah that's obviously your expert.

00:01:55: so let's dive in.

00:01:56: what do you think Norman?

00:01:57: What is most common misconception companies or organizations have about challenges expert families face during their relocations?

00:02:06: Well there are many but I think we concentrate much on logistics and paperwork thinking that's the most challenging part of their relocation.

00:02:18: When in fact, um... The real challenges often lie in the emotional social and cultural adaptation That not only the expatriate but also their families would go through when moving Especially helping the spouse or partner rebuild Their career Or social network in a new location In addition to supporting children the different challenges they face, educational language or emotional transitions.

00:02:50: Also the whole family needs to adjust to new cultural norms in their new location.

00:02:58: things like healthcare systems how to connect internet and pay for water electricity that kind of thing you know, getting in the flow of that daily life.

00:03:16: In addition to managing home sickness and how to keep that contact with the loved ones we left

00:03:23: behind.".

00:03:23: I see!

00:03:24: Very interesting point.

00:03:25: so from your personal experience or professional experiences what's number one factor it makes or breaks an ex-pat?

00:03:33: families adaptation into a new country?

00:03:37: Well, again supporting the human side of relocation is just as critical as managing their logistics.

00:03:46: But overall I would say that the well-being and adjustment of the company's spouse or partner... ...is critical for the success of a family And i'm going to tell you why.

00:04:00: Think about it.

00:04:01: The expatriate has great job opportunity has opportunity for growth and exposure, you know developing new skills.

00:04:11: But if the spouse or partner struggles to settle in for whatever reason because it's a different time zone... ...because of how hard it is connect with community It would create what we call a ripple effect.

00:04:28: It will affect everybody but family Because typically the partner, the spouse they anchor the family.

00:04:38: They manage their day-to-day life and if you're not feeling comfortable or happy... you know, it's difficult for them to manage the day-to-day life.

00:04:52: For example school in grocery shopping or something like that social activities taking children there after a school activity and emotional well being of their partner.

00:05:05: That is why its so important.

00:05:07: On other hand when the spouse or partner thrives There are a sense stability and positivity and also for the working part.

00:05:20: There's a saying that says happy wife, happy life.

00:05:23: but in this case partner has spouse.

00:05:25: happy live.

00:05:28: it would make it a lot easier.

00:05:31: we will help the expenditure be more productive because he or she understands their family is comfortable settling incorrectly you know when um, or spouse feel isolated aren't happy.

00:05:48: The stress would build across the family and you know that might lead to other things than we come across because of them.

00:05:57: very

00:05:57: interesting thought.

00:05:58: so Let us talk about maybe the responsibilities And the role of different stakeholders.

00:06:04: You mentioned a family as being one of the most uh state important stakeholders?

00:06:10: We can Enlarged pictures of being talking about the employees, employers pardon me, destination service providers local colleagues.

00:06:20: How many companies ensure these groups collaborate effectively instead working in silos?

00:06:27: Great question because it's such an important one because we need to ensure that, um... We provide a smooth relocation and smooth experience not only for the employee but also to the family.

00:06:42: So, uh... To break down this silence I should talk about it.

00:06:47: promote real collaboration between the employer in this case Premier DS as destination service provider And local on-the-ground support.

00:07:00: Focus on creating a shared sense of ownership and open communication.

00:07:05: Yeah,

00:07:05: this is not our process.

00:07:08: We need to coordinate so many services And we need to communicate with each other With the moving company when they immigration company in the event that it's being managed by somebody else When the destination service is coming.

00:07:21: why?

00:07:21: because for example?

00:07:30: temporary furniture.

00:07:31: We need to know when the shipman is arriving in a country and it's going to be delivered, so we remove that temporary furniture.

00:07:40: So...we have to create one team.

00:07:48: We intentionally build a one team mindset.

00:07:52: So we will improve the expert experiences and then that would also strengthen their trust in how to build.

00:08:00: you know, those stakeholders involved moving with one family from point A-to-point B so basically shared sense of ownership an open communication.

00:08:10: That's what we need with everybody involved in moving one family or what individual from point A to Point

00:08:16: B. And, From your lenses of a professionalist and the sphere of global mobility What's creative?

00:08:23: Or maybe unexpected way you have seen host location office go above and beyond.

00:08:29: welcome an expert family.

00:08:31: Most often than not Everybody welcomes the extension.

00:08:36: they do this welcome activities at the office.

00:08:40: But I remember one, what time we...I experienced that and somebody shared it with me which i thought was a very innovative in heartwarming way to receive.

00:08:54: The host location office.

00:08:57: they organized the welcome week.

00:09:00: Not you see not just for the employee because, you know normally they will have like a meeting or lunch and before the coming it went into the

00:09:10: onboarding.

00:09:11: Yeah

00:09:12: Exactly exactly so.

00:09:14: They did that for the whole family.

00:09:16: So I thought but there was very Thoughtful from from the host location to do dad Because if he also sends some very important signal to their family That they matter as people And that they're not just an extension of the employee.

00:09:37: They have to cut, but we care and watch you be seen in.

00:09:43: I think it was a amazing experience for their family which they appreciated very much.

00:09:50: Okay!

00:09:51: Very good point.

00:09:54: What about practical support?

00:09:56: We mentioned the role of different stakeholders.

00:09:58: so let us talk.

00:09:59: maybe pre-departure preparation.

00:10:04: What's one thing companies often overlook in your experience when preparing families for a move?

00:10:10: You know, even though there might be people who have moved several times and who have experienced that although all the emotions come from moving um...from one country to another I would say that emotionally preparing entire family Is very important.

00:10:33: Yeah, and not just breathing the employee in this spouse on their logistics or Or the practicalities of the move for example The visa process house hunt the house fighting home finding the school search.

00:10:47: There needs to be a bit more than then.

00:10:51: I'm just letting them know What what's gonna happen?

00:10:54: For example while companies usually cover housing business school taxes and cultural effects We may need to switch a little bit and paying more attention to helping families, process the emotional transition.

00:11:08: It's like saying goodbye to friends in family.

00:11:12: True

00:11:12: yeah very emotional very emotional factor.

00:11:15: Yeah exactly

00:11:16: Exactly!

00:11:18: And the routines because you have that routine at home.

00:11:22: then also How much do we consider the family's fears and anxieties, or are they ready to leave?

00:11:33: Are their emotional states prepared for leaving especially children and spouses.

00:11:44: So even discussing how roles in family dynamics may change abroad So it's, I think that emotionally prepared the entire family contributes to this success of the relocation.

00:12:00: However... It can only happen when the family expresses those feelings and we as destination service providers in case of Premier TS can address with our relocation management company so they the employers, because then again you don't know what to do.

00:12:24: Yeah very good point.

00:12:25: so what stays behind?

00:12:27: a little bit there but... But how can employers maybe balance standardised relocation policies with kind of unique needs for each family?

00:12:38: Is that a standardized policy?

00:12:40: Because I think every family has its own individual needs and requirements.

00:12:46: Mm-hmm.

00:12:49: Each family is unique, so And this is one of the biggest challenges and opportunities when building mobility programs I strongly believe that The key to balancing standardize policies with individual family needs.

00:13:12: So in other words we need to design flexibility within a clear framework.

00:13:21: So it

00:13:21: means that we give structure, that allows customization.

00:13:27: so for example now there is lot of talk in the industry about the Luxembourg.

00:13:36: You've heard right?

00:13:37: Exactly!

00:13:39: It's always a vital discussion everywhere.

00:13:41: yeah exactly.

00:13:44: So by combining this structure with flexibility, we're sending a clear message.

00:13:51: It's like okay... We are organized but see you right?

00:13:55: We understand your uniqueness and will do everything in our power to meet all of the needs So that improves the family outcomes and they trust their employer, those of us in the destination services delivery who manage these policies are hearing them.

00:14:17: And our tailoring within this framework that we've been given to work.

00:14:23: I see, yeah exactly good point.

00:14:26: so again talking about emotional aspects like saying goodbye to your friends or relatives what about the role of children?

00:14:37: What would you think like?

00:14:38: children's adaptation might be critical but i think it is often sidelined.

00:14:43: So what may a small intervention then can make big difference for AXPEC kids?

00:14:50: It It is a great question and you're absolutely right.

00:14:55: Children's adaptations are often treated as an afterthought, however it was one of the most decisive factors in the family success abroad.

00:15:05: I remember somebody that i moved along time ago they were offering him promotion to big position.

00:15:19: I need my daughters to finish high school before i can go anywhere else.

00:15:28: So that showed how much importance he placed in family and also the understanding of the company at that time saying, well yeah okay you're a feminist first but uh... And there was no retaliation because they promoted him into his home country and then his daughter's were successfully successfully graduating and everything.

00:15:49: But I think that- Family first, yeah.

00:15:50: Exactly

00:15:52: exactly.

00:15:53: um i think that uh one small but powerful intervention just comes to mind That could make a huge difference.

00:16:01: Could be offering kids age appropriate cultural orientation You know?

00:16:05: Um Giving them space to voice their concerns Ask questions And learn Tips, for example.

00:16:16: How many big friends in China?

00:16:18: or how when you feel lonely and sad because your bad parents stay behind?

00:16:26: And they're not there at their house every week and having lunch... Exactly giving them tools to do that.

00:16:37: These gestures also send a powerful message To the children Because like You matter too and you're part of it.

00:16:47: And beside the children, what about the trailing spouse?

00:16:50: So how can companies maybe address that trailing spous dilemma beyond just offering career coaching?

00:16:57: because we talked about talk to both the role of the children or maybe emotional aspect.

00:17:03: then family first.

00:17:04: but What About The Trailing Spouse?

00:17:06: God!

00:17:07: That's such a thoughtful question.

00:17:08: Thank You Because It Shows Genuine Care for the human side of mobility.

00:17:17: And as you mentioned, while career coaching is valuable and appreciated further supporting the spouse or partner's sense of purpose connection and belonging in a new country it very important again.

00:17:36: when they thrive the whole family thrives.

00:17:45: Some of the things that we could help in most companies now, well for the spouse assistance is facilitating the community integration.

00:17:56: Also being advocates even considering involving them in company activities like family day, volunteer activities you know that kind of thing and helping them find this purpose and community.

00:18:14: That makes sense to them.

00:18:15: And maybe

00:18:16: the role as well.

00:18:17: yeah no very interesting.

00:18:21: Yeah

00:18:22: for that we have a role.

00:18:25: our local underground consultant is great source to assist with that.

00:18:33: They know the place and they're like, okay you'd like tennis?

00:18:36: Yeah there are five tennis clubs here.

00:18:38: uh-hmm you like both cheering.

00:18:39: yeah dogs children they elderly what whatever you want to... Whatever you would like to volunteer more in.

00:18:45: Like day today's survival.

00:18:47: And it

00:18:49: is part of those services that we provide as destination service provider.

00:18:54: um as part

00:18:56: Let us know and maybe take a look ahead.

00:18:59: Maybe nowadays everyone talks about digital tools, AI.

00:19:03: so what about the role of digital tools?

00:19:06: And have you seen kind of tech solution in your company like an app or platform that genuinely improved expert family support?

00:19:15: Stefan throughout these years I've seen things come-and go.

00:19:24: it's always trial & error.

00:19:25: Yeah,

00:19:26: okay.

00:19:26: And I think that in most industries is always trial and error.

00:19:30: um i have seen it.

00:19:35: However, I firmly believe in humanizing our services.

00:19:39: Mm-hmm You're talking about something?

00:19:42: That affects the family directly Although I do not uh...I don't know this regard.

00:19:51: Um apps and websites dad to give advice To families and it may work for some in the network or others Because then you would go to a website or turn up And they say well my child is throwing tantrums.

00:20:07: Then what do I do?

00:20:08: Does if you give your doesn't go any deeper into It, okay You know are there more things that you want?

00:20:14: ask?

00:20:14: so i really think That those those type of situations you need somebody to talk.

00:20:22: not Not that i don't believe.

00:20:25: There are means and apps, websites and literature that address those things.

00:20:32: They need to look into it.

00:20:33: get back you see what I can find.

00:20:36: but personally in normal Vargas we have to humanize relocation services.

00:20:45: they needed humans with human emotions dealing people and they need people to talk as well.

00:20:53: So what do you think, just breaking the ground for next question?

00:20:57: If could redesign global mobility programs from scratch.

00:21:01: so let us dive into theory... What's first policy will implement to prioritize families with human aspect?

00:21:11: but what can be done beyond

00:21:13: it?

00:21:13: Well I guess by now we should know where my focus is!

00:21:20: I think that made my point.

00:21:22: But if could we design a global sustainability program from scratch, the very first thing to look into would be family-first needs assessment and support

00:21:30: plan

00:21:31: in implementing formal process that places the family unique needs at the center of their relocation journey.

00:21:39: Because

00:21:40: everything

00:21:40: else is already taken care off, you have providers who give you immigration support and then give you tax support in your destinations for them to give all those other supports.

00:21:50: but then... The families' unique needs need be on the centers of the relocations journey Not after

00:21:57: last fall.

00:21:59: And by making a visible supported participant on the relocation process from day one, we can certainly improve um this success of the assignment and and the retention of the employee in a long-term success.

00:22:17: Yeah

00:22:17: yeah so let us they maybe conclude and take my kind of key takeaway.

00:22:26: So Can you share a story where family support directly contributed to an assignment's success?

00:22:33: Yes, yes.

00:22:34: I mean throughout the years God have seen so many and it's one that is very uplifting because i remember there was a senior executive from large transnational company moving from Brazil to Mexico on assignment though his benefit package very generous, but really made the difference.

00:22:59: what did be attention that we paid to the family's needs.

00:23:03: The company arranged for a career counselor for his spouse who had to leave her job in Brazil and when she got to Mexico or somehow discovered a passion teaching Portuguese.

00:23:18: so once children were enrolled at school The office invited the family to cultural events and holiday gatherings.

00:23:30: And even local sports club happened them, you know?

00:23:33: To feel part of community.

00:23:36: Um...and the spouse we were able to hook her up with a language academy who was looking for Portuguese teachers.

00:23:43: so because they didn't teach Portuguese then

00:23:46: So she

00:23:47: not only had opportunity to teach but create program which really fulfilled her and made her feel very comfortable, very useful.

00:23:56: Very focused on that apart from the family... Which brought her a lot of joy!

00:24:02: So because the families settled in so smoothly The expatriate was able to focus fully onto work Because everybody else was flowing instead of needing and having time.

00:24:16: It was both a win for the company And for the family.

00:24:22: It was very fulfilling for us.

00:24:24: And then stories like this remind me that when you care about the family, You unlock the place.

00:24:30: full potential.

00:24:31: Very good So Norman thank you so much For your insights both on personal and professional insight for sharing your experience with our community or audience.

00:24:45: For the audience, thank you for listening to The Global People Mobility Podcasts!

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00:24:54: Talk To You Soon.

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00:25:10: Soon.